Vows: Audrey Brand and Danny Brown – Vows

by Jeannie on January 27, 2012

Michael Nagle for The New York Times

FOREST HILLS, QUEENS, JAN. 21 The couple leaves the church for the reception as an attendant apparently checks G.P.S.

IN 2006, Danny Brown, a former drummer and guitarist, made good on a dream he once had, opening a restaurant and wine bar in Forest Hills, Queens, that in time would earn him a Michelin star.

“I knew Brooklyn was hipper,” said Mr. Brown, who trained as a sommelier and chef in restaurants in Manhattan and throughout Europe. Nevertheless, he determined that Forest Hills, where he had been raised, was the right setting for his entry into a business known for long hours and disastrous pairings.

As word of his plan spread, he received an e-mail from Audrey Brand, a neighborhood woman seeking a job — any job — at the restaurant.

His prior contact with her, after a local musical revue in which she had performed, was brief. Ms. Brand, who often wore offbeat outfits, was hard to miss in and around Forest Hills. “In eighth grade, she was wearing plaid stockings, shorts, a Red Hot Chili Peppers T-shirt and Converse sneakers,” said Julie Accardo, a longtime friend.

Since then, Ms. Brand has moved on to collecting vintage furs, ’50s party dresses and cameos. Periodically, she wears Italian wingtips. “Audrey is an old soul when it comes to her personality and style of dress,” Ms. Accardo said.

Ms. Brand was unsure he would remember her. So in her e-mail pitch, she said she was a hard worker, and a great home baker who was organized and friendly. A graduate of N.Y.U., she noted that she had left a job in music management and had begun taking cooking classes.

He had, in fact, admired her work in the revues put on by the Women’s Club of Forest Hills, and her funky look. When Mr. Brown, who at the time was in a serious relationship and on the cusp of getting married, replied with a phone call, he was sympathetic but concerned that she was too hastily giving up on making it in the music business, a dream he once shared.

“Music management?” Mr. Brown said. “I thought that was wildly exciting.”

He failed to talk her out of it, and by the time the Danny Brown Wine Bar and Kitchen opened, Ms. Brand was on board as a waitress and Mr. Brand was officially engaged.

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On the restaurant floor, however, Mr. Brown, now 41, and Ms. Brand, 33, were becoming a great team. She had impressed him with dogged attention to detail, a sense of industry bordering on workaholism, and a gregariousness that drew smiles from the most somber of critics.

Mr. Brown did know wine — through his father, Philip R. Brown, a former musician who had played with Stan Getz and Charlie Parker, and his mother, Françoise Brown, a French native who had joined her husband in selling wine to many of New York City’s top restaurants.

Things were less sure in the kitchen, however. Chefs came and went, and Mr. Brown despaired.

Three weeks after the restaurant’s opening, Ms. Brand recalled, “Danny came up to me and said, ‘Do me a favor: don’t do this for too long.’ ”

She ignored his advice, and that of her parents, Kathryn and Alfred Brand of Kew Gardens, Queens, who she said “were hoping this would be an eye-opening experience that would send me running back to corporate America.”

Finally, Mr. Brown donned an apron and took over the kitchen, ceding the front of the house to Ms. Brand, who soon announced her own engagement.

By November 2006, he was settling into marriage, but the restaurant did not seem to click with patrons.

Ms. Brand said that his restaurant concept — a casual spot on Metropolitan Avenue with tapas, cured meats and a large selection of wines by the glass — “was met by a clearly confused crowd of locals.”

“They didn’t understand the menu,” she continued, adding that people would ask, “What’s this ‘topless’ restaurant?”

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I’m a tech girl at heart: I tweet all day, I send emails and texts instead of calling or writing, and I always have the newest generation iPhone. I don’t even know how much a stamp costs these days (I pay all my bills online).

Some say it’s poor manners, but in all honesty, I have more contact than ever with my friends and loved ones! Maybe even too much contact. So, when Tony Schubert, our event planner from Event Eleven asked us to choose between letterpress, engraved or embossed invitations, I took one look at my betrothed and said, “Umm, what?!” The very idea of having to track down over 100 home addresses, find a stationer and design the cards sent me into a panic — never mind those pesky RSVP cards (don’t forget you need postage on them as well, and you end up getting frustrated and angry at those guests that never seem to send them back on time).

To put it mildly, I was dreading the entire invitation process, until I went online and found our solution: Paperless Post. My friends, bless them, were horrified: “No! You can’t do that… Evites are for things like Halloween, birthday parties and Bob’s last day at the office… they are so impersonal and informal.” I love my friends, but had to ask, “Who really cares?” Does receiving a Paperless Post Evite make our wedding day any less important or any less formal? I don’t think so. Are you not going to come because you didn’t get tangible invitation in the mail? I think not. In fact, I think it reveals a lot about who we are as a couple: modern, chic, green, no nonsense people who also like to save money.

I have a confession: whenever I receive a wedding invitation in the mail, I’m usually overwhelmed and under-impressed. There’s the actual invite, and then there are the maps, RSVP cards, day-after brunch invitations and suggestions on where to stay and what to do all shoved into one large envelope. Some even include a cute picture of the couple and how they met in poetic verse. I usually lose at least one or two of those various cards and the surviving ones end up with peanut butter or some other food product smeared on them. Not surprisingly, 90 percent of the time I’m also THAT guest: the one who forgets to send back the RSVP card, and then become the official wedding crasher (sorry to everyone I’ve done this to in the past). For us, Paperless Post makes sense! I don’t need to worry about a designer, calligrapher, printing, postage or addresses. I don’t need to worry about people crashing my wedding because they thought they sent in the RSVP card or it got lost in the mail and I don’t need to worry about people showing up to the wrong place because the address is half covered with some foreign substance. This way, I can design the invite myself, email it and receive RSVP’s almost immediately. Plus, it’s eco-friendly!

And for those naysayers, who claim that people like to save wedding invitations, let me ask you this: “How many wedding invitations have you actually saved?” My honest answer is none. But, if you really want to save this one, just click file and print.


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